First, Ally, My heart goes out to you. I don't know the pain you've had to deal with, but I know it's great and all pain, no matter how old, can always use soothing and can always be given thoughts and prayers. You have both from me.

Logi, I SO FEEL FOR YOU!!!! I EMPATHIZE!!! I love singing, have done much theater and kareoke and when I had my cancer surgery I lost my singing voice completely for many months. I never got it all back, but it is much better now, to the point where I can really enjoy singing again. I hope you can bypass all of that and be singing again right away. What's more, I want to be there when you do.

Everyone, rejoice with me, my tooshie is in great shape! I am the luckiest man alive (except for all of the other luckiest men alive, like Skye ;-) nothing has interfered with the wedding or honeymoon at all and I feel so blessed for that and for all of you. I really want to restate my sincere desire to know you all in a much more tangible way in the future.

I'm not working after today, so not sure if I'll blog before I get back, but I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPPPPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D
HAPPY
HAPPY
HAPPY
HAPPY
HAPPY!!!!!! :-D

Thoughts and love to all!

Always...

Okay, I have an explanation of where I've been the last week and not blogging and it is icky, but first I have a few things I need to say.

#1 and this wasn't the first item on my agenda, but it became first when I read it. GHOST, what you wrote on the 25th October was about the single most beautiful and well coveyed piece of writing I have ever had the good privilege to read. Bless you for posting this where the rest of us could share what wonderful personal beauty you have. If any of you missed it, you can read it here.

#2 Nightskye and Rhinogirl: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! Sparks and I are so happy and thrilled for you. We still look forward to meeting you both, but hopfully not until after you have the single most loving and perfect honeymoon that anyone has ever had! (At least until next week when ours starts ;-) Some people say Heaven is God's gift for a good life. I'd rather say that the gift of a truly good life is being worthy to not just experience love and wonder in your own life, but to share in the joy of the good people around you as well. I feel complimented as a human being that I am a good enough person to deserve knowing about and being able to share the celebration of your union.

#3 UIM and Coogwuh: WELCOME BACK! I can't wait to see both of you! Call me as soon as you can!!!

#4 Ally: I cannot tell you how much we are pulling for you and Brogan and hopeful that your house comes through ASAP! Speaking also as people who have the occaisional D - day ourselves, we just want you to know that we are sure there will be so many A+++ days for you both in your future that you don't have to worry about ruining that perfect average ;-)

#5 Metrocake: Thank you so much for your sweet mention of us in your blog! I cannot tell you how nice it has been to follow your trials and victories and to have the opportunity to share a little piece of your lives.

#6 Tempest: Hope everything is going well with the job, you haven't posted in a few days, I hope all is well.

#7 Logi: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

#8 Chynakatt: Glad you made it back safely and happy to hear you had a good time! Good luck with the job hunt, I'm pulling for ya!

SO WHERE HAS THE GUY BEEN ANYWAY???
Well if you've read this far than I guess you really want to know, so I'll tell you:
I had to have a operation on Tuesday, rather suddenly.
Yea, I'm all right.
No, it wasn't cancer related.
No it wasn't life threatening.
Yes it was something extremely painful, probably more so than anything in my life to this point.
I'm a little embarrassed by it frankly.
You see I developed an Abcess on my...good grief...in my...I can't believe I'm saying this...well, my anus.
Fist-sized aparently.
Went to the doctor on Monday, sent to a surgeon, and to the Hospital Tuesday morning.
Had to get a spinal anesthetic, it sucked.
The rest is history.
Yea, I feel much better.
It's really icky, should be healed completely by the wedding day.
So there you have it. Sorry if I worried anyone, miss talking to you all.

See you soon,
What else could happen right? Okay clear that. Forget I said it ;-)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE Who care's about my butt!
Wooo Hooo!!!

Always...

Ally, I was thinking the same thing today and was creeped out too... I'll send the few warm fuzzies I have your way. Hopefully it will help :-)

Logi, I just want you to know you're in our thoughts every day and we wish you the very best. Just remember that nothing has to be or mean anything, everything is possible and no matter what things seem or what pattern seems to exist, people are all unique and can still suprise you. I know this is very vague and somewhat awkward, but it's the closest I can come to my positive hopes for you.

Ghost, You will be in my thoughts and prayers constantly and hopefully joy and fulfilment will find you once more. Then I can go back to being a hyper-reactive jerk again :-)

UIM and Coogwah, Bless you both. My hopes are always with you and I can't wait to see you both!

Nightskye, I cannot tell you how happy I am to be back in touch with you again, it's like waking up after a long sleep. I am so happy for you and Rhinogirl. That is a sweet picture of the two of you and Sparks and I look forward to meeting you both.

Chynakatt, Have a great, if not brief vacation. Getting to know you has been so nice!

Tempest, You are in my thoughts. Even though your job is hard on you, I can tell you do it very well. Your thoughtfulness and support has been appreciated.

Metrocake, I never got a chance to thank you for your help with my questions. I'd like to do that now. Thanks!

To The Whole Clot: I hope to meet you all one day and get to know you by your real names. As much as I love the blog, I can't help but suffer flashbacks to being 16 years old and in an AOL chatroom.... :-)

Always...

I like the 'Little Golden Books' thing so I made up some of my own. Here they are:

1. He hits you a lot because he loves you a lot!
2. The Magical Potions under the sink.
3. Games Grandpa makes me play.
4. Marco Polo + Running with Scissors and other fun combos!
5. You suck and you're lucky we feed you.
6. "Fu*k", your new favorite word.
7. You can go to the bathroom anywhere!
8. Magic words that make Mommy listen. Vol. 3: Child Protective Services
9. I can do that! Vol. 1: Headstands in the toilet.
10. Bad little girls get locked in the basement.

Most of you have probably seen this list by now, so I'll only post my favorites:

LITTLE GOLDEN BOOKS THAT NEVER MADE IT

4. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
5. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence * - Editor's Choice!
9. That's It, I'm Putting You Up For Adoption
10. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
11. Strangers Have The Best Candy * - Editor's Choice!
12. You Were an Accident
14. Pop! Goes the Hamster... And Other Microwave Games
18. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

Best wishes for all of you and continued wishes for all of you struggling with tough times.

Always...

I know we don't see eye to eye a lot and sometimes seem almost adversarial in these blogs, but I can't respect someone without also caring about them and reading Ghosts words just broke my heart. I understand at least a little what that pain feels like and I'd take back any words I've ever said and undo anything I ever did if it could take that pain away. I'm probably the last one who he'd ever look to or lean on, but I just want him to know that I feel for him and wish with all my heart that it didn't have to be so. Yea it gets better, but sometimes you don't want better, you want what you had....

always...

Sparks and I participated in the AIDS walk at Hecksher(How the hell do you spell that damn thing) State Park this Sunday. We did it last year too, always a good time and it didn't rain so it was all good. Then we sat down for lunch and when we were finished and had to get up again we remembered why they only do this once a year...OW! :-)

So back to the Cryo Center again today to make sure my oil isn't low and then next Wednesday to Stonybrook for a biopsy (more precautionary, we are pretty sure its cancer at this point, just making sure it's the same type) and then the prognosis hooray. :-) Either way, it doesn't look like the wedding and honeymoon will be effected beyond a little nervous cloud about the treatment to come, but hey, I'll take that any day.

I can only imagine what life must be like for Skye and Rhinogirl right now, My wedding is 2 weeks and 4 days away and I am going nuts, theirs is only 10 days..... All our best wishes to you guys through and through!

UIM, I forgot to tell you, you can still do that reading at the ceremony, we spoke to the Reverend about it. Of course this is on a "your choice" basis. :-)

So many of you have struggles and trials right now and I have been reading about them faithfully every day. I want you all to know that I feel for you and wish you well and have you all in my thoughts. I wish for peace and calm and resolution for you all.

Quick update on life in general for everyone:

Good News: We were able to reschedule a flight to FL. for our honeymoon.
Marginal News: We have to go out of JFK in stead of MacArthur causing us to change limo plans and rent a hotel room near the Airpoir for our wedding night.
Good News: Lawyer problems were worked out and we should be ready to go to contract shortly.
Bad News: It does appear the cancer has spread to the right side of my neck.
Good news: The cancer apparently did NOT spread to my chest.
Bad news: To sit down and just talk to a doctor at Sloan Kettering costs $1,100.00
Good News: I have a PPO that should pay 80%
Bad news: I found out that is 80% of "typical" rates. These are much much higher than typical.
Good news: I may not need to go to them.
Good News: My fiance's wedding dress will finally be here Monday.
Bad News: The Brides Maids dresses will not be here until 9 days before the wedding (Talk about cutting it close).
Good News: It looks like that even if I do need surgery, it will not be until AFTER the wedding.
Bad News: I just found out today that a very nice sweet person, the one who trained me at my current job and had moved on to a new job, was among those lost in WTC. He was a year younger than me...

I am really trying to make peace with that last one. I used to joke with this guy and tease him about his bad luck... That now feels terrible in a really creepy way...

Gears Changing...

I read UIM and Rhinogirls "Personal Pyro Party" safety list, I offer the following list of my own:

Fire tips for kids:
1. No matter how much you assure others that the "little" blaze you started is under control, they will refuse to listen to you if you are only 5 years old...
2. Don't burn things that don't beling to you, it pisses people off.
3. Don't ever run through the house with something flaming in your hand, people totally overreact.
4. Girls really don't like it when you ignite your gas, no matter how much you think they secretly do.
4a. You can pretty much write off anything involving flatulence guys, they apparently mean it...
5. No matter how formal you dress or how serious your demeanor, a bonfire in the back yard is not an acceptible way to help your old toys "pass into the next world".
6. You pretty much can't burn anything at a relatives house, no matter how much they assure you that you can "just make yourself at home".
7. Fire does not cleanse evil, leave your little brother alone!
8. "Show and Tell' and fire don't mix. Just trust me on this one.
9. Calling it "Flambe' " does not help you get away with torching food.
10. No matter how much you loved your dearly departed pet, your parents will never let you have a "Viking Furneral".