Friday, September 27, 2002

Wind swirling aimlessly through the web

Tumbleweeds roaming, destination unknown, without a thought to their fate

Memories of lively voices echo eerily in the nether

A dying fig leaf falls to the ground unnoticed

Pontentials and thoughts, like tangeable possibilities are worlds full of infinity beyond reach of this reality

And no one says something about anything not happening here

Voice of the big empty, the blog, save for Chynakat is bare

Devoid of all life, save that and this voice who says nothing but the nothing that is...

Monday, September 23, 2002


Friday, September 20, 2002

A story (With a moral)...

It seems (yes 'seems') there were these two guys who lived in a room with no doors, only one window, didn't need to eat, drink or breath to live and never died. We will call guy #1 Bob and guy #2 Phil.

One day several Aeons ago, Bob realized that while light did come through the window, the opening was too high up on the wall to see out of and he could no longer stand not knowing what might lie beyond it.

(At this point it might be helpful to know that he and Phil lived in an all white featurless room and Phil was not exactly the greatest conversationalist. In his defense, Phil often pointed out that they really didn't have much to talk about beyond philosophy and the room itself and they pretty much ' already beat those dogs to death'.)

"I wonder why we never spoke about that window before?" Bob noted, to which Phil only shrugged (Like I said, poor conversationalist). "I want to see what is beyond it, I want to see it now" Chirped Bob decidedly. "Go for it" Phil replied. "I Can't reach it you moron, can't you see that?" to which Phil only mumbled "Well that would make it difficult, wouldn't it". Several weeks of pointless bickering then followed. About a month later (These guys aren't particularly quick, but then again they've scarcely got any reason to hurry) Phil finally gave in and allowed Bob to stand on his shoulders so that he could look out the window and see what was there. "WAHHHHHHHHHHH...." rang out immediately followed by a thud almost the very second Bob reached the window. "Done already?" Phil started. "Shut up, you know I fell you idiot! The light out there burned my eyes. I could have been blinded!" "Want another look?" Phil coolly quipped. Bob just gave Phil a long deliberate look and calmly uttered "No, thank you, I don't think I'll be doing that again." A few years passed, Bob started to wonder if he would be able to see out of the window if he looked out at more of an obtuse angle. Maybe the really bright light was right in front and he could look around it? After spending a few months debating with himself about what Phil would think or say he decided to just go ahead and ask and take whatever insults he had to in order to get another peek out of that window. So he walked over to Phil and before he could speak his first words "So you want another look huh?" "What are you talking about? What the window?" Bob said mock-flabbergasted "That was years ago, what makes you think..." "Look, you haven't spoken a word in 6 years and all you do is stare at that damn thing looking like a lonely puppy that lost it's master so do you want to admit it or should I just take a nap for a decade or so?" "No no no!, okay you're right. So you don't mind?" Phil looking thoughtful for a long moment, smiled briefly (probably his first smile in about 30,000 years) "Speak the magic words." Bob looking shocked and furious all at once, was about to refuse automatically, but he caught himself, knowing the consequences. "Are you serious? Do you really expect me to do that?" Phil looked up calmly "Saaaay it" "But" Before he could even start to build a defense. "Okay, forget it the deal is off the table, I'm going to bed" "No Wait! Okay Okay I'll say it" Phil smiled again a little wider this time (even he couldn't remember the last time he had so much fun). "Nope too late for that. Now you have to sing it." "WHAT?!? That's rediculous I..." Phil raised a warning finger and made a sleeping gesture with his hands against his head. "Okay, DAMN IT. DAMN IT ALL TO HELL, I SWORE I'D NEVER DO THIS AGAIN!" And then he began to sing:

Ooooooh Phil, Phil, boy does he rule
Next to him I'm a lump of stool
When he speaks it's like a song
I'm in awe of his monstrous schlong
Every day, Phil is devine
How does he stand to hear me whine
I wish that I could learn his code
But I'm not worthy of his load
When he grants my lame requests
I realize that Phil's the best

Phil begins to clap, but seeing Bobs' sharp stare, decides to just enjoy his boon and not push his luck. "You might want to rethink looking out that window you know, It's probably way up there for a reason. It may not have been meant for looking out of..." "Don't worry, I just want a look at the window itself this time, I'm not going to look out again" Phil didn't dignify that with an answer, he wasn't stupid, so he hummed a note of reserved acknowledgement and shoved Bob on up. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH...TUMP" They didn't speak again for about 40 years. Bob speant the time thinking about what had happened. Phil speant the time doing imaginary crochet. He was quite good and had embroidered almost 1400 sweaters and 37 pairs of socks. Bob finally decided he wanted another shot. He'd use his fingers to filter the light, then he'd at least be able to see the light itself without screaming and falling down again. "Phil?" "Sing the song" he plainly said just as soon as Bob had opened his mouth. "Is that really?..." Bob started but was immediately interrupted by phils warning gesture. Bob just sighed. "Ooooooooooo......"


"Bob, I really think you should refrain from looking out of the window, it can't be good for you." "Oh I know, I really respect your advice and I know you are right, I am not going to look out anymore, that was only an accident last time. I am just going to look at the window sil, really!" Bob responded, preparedly. Phil just shook his head and assumed the position. You can guess what happened next... "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH...TUMP"

Believe it or not this happened 8 more times in the next 649 years. Every time Bob said he would not look. Every time he promised to take Phils good advice. Every time he dropped to the floor and squeeled like a little bitch with a skinned knee on his way down. Until finally: "Phil?" "Sing it..." "No no, I'm not asking you to help me with the window again" "You're not?" "Nah, I'm done with that. It was just a stupid phase, it was silly, you were really right. I just wanted to than..." Bob , arm outstretched, walked square into the wall face first, falling to the ground with a suprised, muffled squeak. "You're blind aren't you?" Phil said ambivilently. "Yep" Bob said, matter-of-factly. "So what now Bob?" "Can I borrow some of your wool, I think I'd like to take up crochet" "Can't you just imagine up your own?" "I don't know how, anyway I'm tired, could you do it for me?" a long silence........"Sing it"

Moral of the story (AND GOD HELP YOU IF YOU ACTUALLY READ THIS THING!) Don't insist that someones advice is good and promise to follow it in the same moment that you are disregarding it. That is just plain STUPID!

Thursday, September 19, 2002


Wednesday, September 18, 2002

I will openenly admit I have had the same restraint problems as UIM in my past, but ultimately I realized that the company I kept made it vastly easier or more difficult to control myself. Of course if someone feels that they are with the "Easy to tolerate" type and still are hovering at the deep end of the pool well then I'd have to agree with them that special treatment may be in order, But that is as always subjective and personal. Just know that you are not some oddity in your own little world. You are just like the rest of us, maybe if you really knew how common your feelings and frustrations were, you'd be a little easier on yourself.

With love,

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

Hat's off to Skye. He said it better than I could.

"Is that gasoline I smell?" - The Crow

Friday, September 13, 2002

Friday Fortune Cookie:

Sometimes problems are like rocks. It's not their size that gets you its their Density....

What do you think?

Thursday, September 12, 2002

It's ironic the things that happen. There was a person a few years younger than me, that trained me when I came on at Goldman Sachs. He was a nice person, quiet, had bad luck in the stock market, but was the type you kind of intrinsicaly liked and wanted to make smile. He left mid-2000 and we all wished him well. It was a month after 9-11 that we found out he had died in the attack and we all mourned for someone so young and sill so close to some people here. There was a pervasive strangeness that seemed to hang in the air, as if something cosmically not quite right, for some time after that. Then after a while the surreal and uneasiness started to fall away and I could almost get back into my old rythm again. About two weeks ago I suddenly could no longer receive pages and I went to my supervisor to find out what was up. About 4 hours later I got an e-mail saying that the pager I was using was assigned to Guy Barzvi and was deactivated as he was no longer with the company. Yea I know, he was no longer with any company. He was younger than me and died almost a year ago...

Now tell me again why I need to see clips of this day at nauseum or why I need people telling me that I'll cynically forget all about it next week?


Wednesday, September 11, 2002


Fact: There are just as many brainless losers in Multi-billion dollar trading companies who pee on the toilet seat as there are in the typical McDonalds in a day. The only difference is that they are splashing nicer shoes with their own urine. It boggles the mind.

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

Favorite phrase of the week: (This week gleaned from GOATS: on June 7, 2002)

"Bob, you'll need to rustle up as much creamed spinach as you can carry, 12 packages of uninflated balloons and a truckload of midgets with good attitudes, loose sphincters and no allergies to latex!"

You can't get more real life and relevant than that. These guys really know how to speak to the soul of a people....

Skye turned me on to the whole fantasy baseball league thing this year and it's been fun. I didn't know at the time, but this is pretty much the best source of entertainment for me right now. I have to remember to thank him. Oh wait, hey Skye, Thanks!

Here the standings: (As I know you are all on the edge of your seats...)

Rank Team ------------------------- W-L
1 Las Vegas Yankee fan ---------- 35-10
2 Long Island NY Goombahs - 29-16
3 Rockford Ravens ------------------- 24-21
4 Yankee Ball Buster --------------- 23-22
5 football kings ------------------------ 23-22
6 Harvard Dionysusens ------------- 23-22
7 Wisconsin Firehairs -------------- 20-25
8 Florence Niggaz ------------------- 20-25
9 Philly 4 baggers ------------------- 17-28
10 OKLAHOMA BALLERS ------ 11-34

Monday, September 09, 2002

Ally: Whenever I am faced with people like that, I look them right in the eye and with my meanest, nastiest voice, I shout "UP YOURS!"

Tempest: I am jealous, I love #3 on your list and #8. I am a huge fan of the blatant yet subtle ones... :-)

SmithKid has really found himself a hit-generating cash cow with these weekly questions... Now I'll NEVER catch up! :-)

Piece of advice for the day gleaned from my past:
The more you take ownership and responsibility for the things you do in your life the happier you ultimately are. Constantly rationalizing, justifying and blaming others for things that suck in your life is not only counter-productive, it's also cowardly.

Maybe I'll start posting these things daily, it helps to say again even after learning the lessons...

:-) <- No matter what I pretend, this is just a colon a dash and a paranthesis... The trick is finding people who pretend and imagine the same way i do...

Yea, that's what I am posting today, so what of it? HUH? HUH?????

That's what I thought...

Friday, September 06, 2002

I want to take some time out today to acknowlege what I consider to be one of the most useful and versitile phrases around. A phrase that has both a pleathora of meanings and can also evoke a variety of emotions. This special phrase has been around for years and sadly, I feel it has been unappreciated for much of that time. I aim to fix that little inadequecy right now, so with no further ado I present to you (no, not on the mouse organ and no, not 'The Bells of Saint Mary's) the most useful phrase in the world:


Lets take a closer look at this special peice of our language:

1. It can be utilized to tell someone off in a fairly PC way. ("I say, Bradly, I Just Slept With your Wife." "Well Then I'm Afraid I Have No Other Recourse Than To Unabashedly Declare Up Yours Warren" "Well said and Quite Right Old Man, Shall We go for a Martini?" "Yes, Quite")

2. It can be easily used as a battle cry (ala 'Spoon!' See: 'Independance Day')

3. It can be used as a source of titlation as in "Guess where I am going to stick this...?" (See 'Cowboy Farmstand Playhouse IV')

4. It can be commandeered for use as a playful greeting as in "Hi Honey!" "Up Yours Dear" (See my wife and I. NOTE: Did I ASK your opinion??? :-) )

5. It can be used to spoof your e-mail address online so you can take advantage of special offers while dodging the SPAM! (See:

6. It can be a source of misdirection for a would-be theif that asks where your money is. (Editor's Note: This Publication Only Points Out, While NOT Endorsing This Option)

7. And Finally it is the perfect alternative lifestyle pet name. ("What's your dog's name?" "...Up Yours...")

I think that about says it all.

In closing,

Up Yours...

Wednesday, September 04, 2002

I think it's a harsh reality of life that a man can never say "I baked Banana Muffins today" and still sound cool and masculine... Sure I wish it wasn't true, but life is a cruel bitch.

BOOGIE!!! That brings back such memories! Whoo hoo! :-)

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO HAPPA? Her e-mail address doesn't work and she hasn't posted in weeks! Is she okay???

Tuesday, September 03, 2002

Tuesday morning. Several realizations. 1. Fatigue, 2. impatience, 3. um..uh..inability to remember the rest 4. The reoccurance of #3...

Oh yea, I no longer have the capacity to read many lines of text at one sitting. I go through blogs Well anyway, I am now a speed reader out of necessecity, however I have come to the grim realization that I am not a speed comprehender... And whatever.

Baby awake, many hours. Wife and husband scramble to help eachother and to spell eachother and to sleep

Baby happy, resisting urge to suspect purposful evil intent.

Child sleeps during day, making it difficult to teach him I mean for him to

Awake all night, parents unwilling to teach tricks to baby at you get it.

Baby Einstein is bullshit to a 1-month old...

Bottles...many many bottles...

Miss adults...we both miss adults...

Refuse to comment on current events or blog events...couldn't maintain consciousness...


ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ hi there everyo...oh no did okay well hope you are all doing well/ feeling better. Phasers locked on, waiting for orders. Oh wait, not my blog...or is it? Either way...

So in closing, I'll just sayysafpm;.,smd[gdgds;ll;aksf....