DID YOU KNOW?

Fact: There are just as many brainless losers in Multi-billion dollar trading companies who pee on the toilet seat as there are in the typical McDonalds in a day. The only difference is that they are splashing nicer shoes with their own urine. It boggles the mind.

Favorite phrase of the week: (This week gleaned from GOATS: www.goats.com on June 7, 2002)

"Bob, you'll need to rustle up as much creamed spinach as you can carry, 12 packages of uninflated balloons and a truckload of midgets with good attitudes, loose sphincters and no allergies to latex!"

You can't get more real life and relevant than that. These guys really know how to speak to the soul of a people....

always...

Skye turned me on to the whole fantasy baseball league thing this year and it's been fun. I didn't know at the time, but this is pretty much the best source of entertainment for me right now. I have to remember to thank him. Oh wait, hey Skye, Thanks!

Here the standings: (As I know you are all on the edge of your seats...)

Rank Team ------------------------- W-L
1 Las Vegas Yankee fan ---------- 35-10
2 Long Island NY Goombahs - 29-16
3 Rockford Ravens ------------------- 24-21
4 Yankee Ball Buster --------------- 23-22
5 football kings ------------------------ 23-22
6 Harvard Dionysusens ------------- 23-22
7 Wisconsin Firehairs -------------- 20-25
8 Florence Niggaz ------------------- 20-25
9 Philly 4 baggers ------------------- 17-28
10 OKLAHOMA BALLERS ------ 11-34

Ally: Whenever I am faced with people like that, I look them right in the eye and with my meanest, nastiest voice, I shout "UP YOURS!"

Tempest: I am jealous, I love #3 on your list and #8. I am a huge fan of the blatant yet subtle ones... :-)

SmithKid has really found himself a hit-generating cash cow with these weekly questions... Now I'll NEVER catch up! :-)

WELCOME BABY JONATHAN!!! CONGRATULATIONS HAPPA!

Piece of advice for the day gleaned from my past:
The more you take ownership and responsibility for the things you do in your life the happier you ultimately are. Constantly rationalizing, justifying and blaming others for things that suck in your life is not only counter-productive, it's also cowardly.

Maybe I'll start posting these things daily, it helps to say again even after learning the lessons...

:-) <- No matter what I pretend, this is just a colon a dash and a paranthesis... The trick is finding people who pretend and imagine the same way i do...


Yea, that's what I am posting today, so what of it? HUH? HUH?????

That's what I thought...

I want to take some time out today to acknowlege what I consider to be one of the most useful and versitile phrases around. A phrase that has both a pleathora of meanings and can also evoke a variety of emotions. This special phrase has been around for years and sadly, I feel it has been unappreciated for much of that time. I aim to fix that little inadequecy right now, so with no further ado I present to you (no, not on the mouse organ and no, not 'The Bells of Saint Mary's) the most useful phrase in the world:



UP YOURS



Lets take a closer look at this special peice of our language:



1. It can be utilized to tell someone off in a fairly PC way. ("I say, Bradly, I Just Slept With your Wife." "Well Then I'm Afraid I Have No Other Recourse Than To Unabashedly Declare Up Yours Warren" "Well said and Quite Right Old Man, Shall We go for a Martini?" "Yes, Quite")

2. It can be easily used as a battle cry (ala 'Spoon!' See: 'Independance Day')

3. It can be used as a source of titlation as in "Guess where I am going to stick this...?" (See 'Cowboy Farmstand Playhouse IV')

4. It can be commandeered for use as a playful greeting as in "Hi Honey!" "Up Yours Dear" (See my wife and I. NOTE: Did I ASK your opinion??? :-) )

5. It can be used to spoof your e-mail address online so you can take advantage of special offers while dodging the SPAM! (See: Jcp171@upyours.net)

6. It can be a source of misdirection for a would-be theif that asks where your money is. (Editor's Note: This Publication Only Points Out, While NOT Endorsing This Option)

7. And Finally it is the perfect alternative lifestyle pet name. ("What's your dog's name?" "...Up Yours...")



I think that about says it all.



In closing,

Up Yours...

I think it's a harsh reality of life that a man can never say "I baked Banana Muffins today" and still sound cool and masculine... Sure I wish it wasn't true, but life is a cruel bitch.

BOOGIE!!! That brings back such memories! Whoo hoo! :-)

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO HAPPA? Her e-mail address doesn't work and she hasn't posted in weeks! Is she okay???

Tuesday morning. Several realizations. 1. Fatigue, 2. impatience, 3. um..uh..inability to remember the rest 4. The reoccurance of #3...

Oh yea, I no longer have the capacity to read many lines of text at one sitting. I go through blogs and....uh...um...what? Well anyway, I am now a speed reader out of necessecity, however I have come to the grim realization that I am not a speed comprehender... And um...uh...eh whatever.

Baby awake, many hours. Wife and husband scramble to help eachother and to spell eachother and to sleep and...um..grrr...

Baby happy, resisting urge to suspect purposful evil intent.

Child sleeps during day, making it difficult to teach him tricks...er I mean for him to learn...uh...um...stuff.

Awake all night, parents unwilling to teach tricks to baby at night...er..learn...um..whatever you get it.

Baby Einstein is bullshit to a 1-month old...

Bottles...many many bottles...

Miss adults...we both miss adults...

Refuse to comment on current events or blog events...couldn't maintain consciousness...

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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....oh..um...well hi there everyo...oh no did that...wait...um okay well hope you are all doing well/ feeling better. Phasers locked on, waiting for orders. Oh wait, not my blog...or is it? Either way...

So in closing, I'll just sayysafpm;.,smd[gdgds;ll;aksf....

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