Boogie: I can only have one response to that "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Know what's really fun? Whatching an implosion... or something right in the process of self-destructing. I wish I had the equipment to slow down every frame and really enjoy each little piece. ;-)

Oh yea? Well you smell like a dirty vacuum cleaner so there!

Hold on. Wait a minute. Now wait one damn minute! How the hell can you have ANAL sex with a Pumpkin??? Isn't there some required piece of anatomy missing??? That's like saying that having a little fun with one of those mini-gourds is pedaphilia!!!! :-O

It's a slow morning and Wry is quite a bit flu-ey today so forgive me. I came to work only because I stayed home yesterday and I am worried about the baby getting my bug. Figured I'd rather give it to my co-workers. Up theirs, you know? :-)

Tom: Amen Brother....Amen

Advice for the day:

"No matter how much the temptation. No matter how sweet it may feel in the moment. No matter how justifed it may feel to do. Sometimes it's better to just keep your mouth shut and leave the poop to the flies."

or

"Even if your intentions are good, picking up the crap to throw it away still leaves your hand smelling like shit."

Did anyone get the liscence plate number of that truck? The one than ran over the Blog, leaving a white tape outline around the internet? Did anyone ID the body? I wonder if they'll plant some flowers here that someone may some day browse past and say "Wow, what a wonderful place, I wonder why nobody lives here?". Lighten up, it's just a joke. Don't get so defensive, don't take it so personally...

"Invisible friends are so much easier to shut up..." - Frustrated Mass Murderer...

Oh and Tempest, I think it totally sucks what's happening to you. On the other hand, that farting detective stort might have real promise! Look out MONK, here comes STUNK! :-)

Four Quickies:

1 & 2: Skye and Cake: All my spare positive energy and crossed fingers are pointed your way. You deserver better than you're getting and I hope that changes soon.

3. Happa: Thanks for the pictures, he is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Bless you and good luck!!!

4. Ally: I hate to say it, but even though I love my friends dearly and I would do anything to help them out, they will almost never get a phone call or card from me on their special occaisions. Mainly because I don't follow those things and don't even know when my own parents anniversery is. I tell my friends this and I pray that they understand that it's not from lack of love, it's just really not my thing and honestly, if I have 12 friends, maybe 2 MAYBE 3 send cards and they do it with the understanding that I love them and appreciate it, but I don't do that. They have been very cool about it outwardly, but I can't help wondering if deep down they don't feel the same as you. But I ask you, isn't it better to have someone who is there for you and helps you then a person that just sends a card? (No, I don't think you only send a card, but I know you know people who aren't always there for you.) Sure it's best to have both, but I am a 'cut my losses' kind of guy and if I can get the prior, I am certainly willing to concede the latter, but that's really my thing to because I have my hands full taking care of myself and my wife and baby and I don't want to waste (and I don't mean to insinuate that it's a waste for you, just me) my free cycles with things like that, I would melt down into a smoldering pile of goo... Kudos for being able to do that, I really respect it, but to me it has to be done COMPLETELY selflessly or you're bound to be let down by people.

My three cents...

Wryguy.

Slow week, what better pastime for the desperately bored and tired then to pay homage to the church of UIM in the form of band names:

"Bitch Sister Kool-Aid Connection"

*** "Flacid Pants Love Implosion" *** - Winner, WRYGUY Editors Choice Award!!!

"Butter Nut Butt Sluts"

"Magellan's Enima"

"V.D. and the Mold Infusion Possee"

"Biscuit Slappin Shoelace Jockeys"
That is all...

I just got toally depressed because only now, a full week later, did I realize that the top-10 list I posted on Paul's site and was so proud of, did not give any indication of who wrote it. Now it is relegated to 'Ponderous'...

The worst part of this happenstance is:

1: People who read it could probably figure out that I was the one who wrote it.
2: It likely wasn't nearly as funny as I want to make it out to be.
3: I have some many more pressing things to worry about, what does it say about my mental state when I go on about something like this?

Splunge!

I cannot seem to stop rocking in place as I sit here at work. It seems my body can no longer differentiate between when I am holding my baby, trying to get him to sleep, or when I am at my desk trying to keep myself awake...

Some band names for UIM:

"Infectious Pants"

"Care-bear Acid Love Zombie"

"Panty Crackers"

"Lust Bucket Toffey Pull"

"Sargeant Nipples"

"Nerf Fandango"

"Mr. Knees"

"Bottleneck Jones"

"Aardvark Hernia Scratch-N-Sniff Floss Party"

That is all.

Wry...

Hey Brenda, if it makes you feel any better, when I was with Inacom I bought many hundreds of dollars of stock at about $18/share. Today, the stock certificate is worthless... :-)

I think I do all my best humor on Paul's site...Ironic

To My Baby: Happy two-month birthday yesterday!

To my beautiful wife: Happy 11-month Anniversery today!

To everyone else: No we did not get pregnant the day before the wedding, no matter what the math says! ;-)

Thought of the day:

Some things, not matter how annoying, aggrevating, pityous or ridiculous, are like a train wreck at the side of the road. No matter how much I think I am above such things and no matter how much "better than that" I may think I am, I can't help looking...or listening, even though I know I am going to spend half an hour kicking myself in the ass about it later.